100th Post - Reflections on various.. erm.. things
So this is it.. bit of a milestone. The 100th post on my blog. When blogging first caught on I used to sneer at people who maintained them thinking "you sad paftick winker, get a life". Now I've realised I'm actually one of those people that dont actually have a life, and therefore feel the need to bore the rest of the world with the outpourings from my tormented mind, and a running commentary of the dreadful desolate wasteland that is the wreckage of my life! (Cheerful eh?!).
When I frst started this off, it was to keep in touch with colleagues and loved ones whilst executing a project 4700 miles away in the USA's magnificent pacific northwest. Amidst the mountains and the forests we crafted a superb IT solution for gigantic companies, under the careful eye of genius talent of Microsoft, and the slave driving whip of oppression of our own masters back in Europe. Of course at this point life was pretty polar - one being the monastic lifestyle of keeping the project ticking over, working 15 hour days and my poor colleague putting up with my dreadful mood swings between despair and total despair. The other reminding ourselves that we have homes to go back to, loving girlfriends (because that one worked out didnt it?!?! Sorry, enough of the sarcasm).
It was however one of the most enjoyable summers I've had.. the weather in Seattle was absolutely gorgeous, and whilst some form of mad torture much of the time because we could only glare from our tiny flat out into the bright sunny world wishing nobody would care if we bunked off a bit, we did actually get out a few times. Thanks to those few times I've seen some of the most amazing landscape in the world up close and personal. From the terrifying Mount Rainier completely messing up my sense of scale, to the thundering waterfalls at snoqualmie, to the dry and uncomfortable heat in the scrublands of Wanapum and Eastern Washington. Not to mention the place which emotionally moved me more than anywhere else - rialto beach!
I've also had a bloody good laugh.. I've tried to run old people over, I've watched zombies being shot (americans dancing in a jazz club), I've made Martini's to perfection many times over with m'colleague to console our bad days, and he's introduced me to margarrita's that made me pull bobby de niro faces. There were some hilarious - but unfortunate moments. Wanging my head on a kitchen cabinet after being startled by a toaster, m'colleague almost getting done for speeding.. my dreadful october beginning of being trapped in commercial airline hell trying to get to and from Barcelona.
We've met some jolly nice people along the way as well. First and foremost I have to put a mention in on Todd & Kristie. Todd actually works for the same company I do, and is a generally bloody nice bloke (good taste in cars), a gorgeous house on a gorgeous island, with a lovely little community. His charming wife Kristie is a superb hostess, wonderful company and terribly terribly nice... She's taught me how to make Smores properly, and explained some of the basic rules of american football. Oh and kept me company as a drinking buddy when doing decadent cheesecake and cocktails for lunch, or getting utterly slaughtered at the haloween party gathering thingy when all others seem to be reserved. I vaguely recollect pulling down half a tree as a good branch to make yet more smores on!?
Then there's the wider circle of friends I'd begun gathering before I left Seattle. All the Kirkland brigade - to all the girls i just have to say one thing... "daaaaaaahling" ;) And to the guys, terribly sorry about the drunken arm wrestling thing - frightfully un-english of me, and promise it wont happen again! :)
Typical that all kicks off *just* when I'm leaving! But I'm sure I'll be back soon - it's a pitty they keep making me leave! tsk!
But then I did have to come home... and sadly when I did get home, Vicky left me and my life turned into rather a mess. It's only just starting to pick itself back up.. and I hate to go very sombre for a moment but the last few days have been the hardest I've had to experience. Vicky very kindly packed my stuff up for me to limit time spent in the house that used to be 'home'. The problem is that it all needed to be unpacked again.. which meant i had to open things up, and look at them to figure out where their homes were going to be. So I've been forced to relive all the memories of almost 3 years again, and i have to confess that I've finally bawled my eyes out over the whole thing and turned into a bit of a wreck. It wasnt just over Vicky either. There's a lot of stuff there - very personal things that I forgot were stored up. Scrooge at xmas was forced to witness his past, present and future life through a bunch of ghosts. I've been forced to look deep into the past at the total carnage of 8 years of relationships that have collapsed, derailled and ultimately gone wrong. They're not wasted, because hidden amongst those has been genuine true love. In a way it's harder looking back over many relationships than just 1. 8 years with one person and you could say "oh dear, got that person wrong" and move on. But over 8 years, with a number of them.. and you start to wonder "what the hell is wrong with me?". It's a good question.. I know I whinge about everything on here but I'm more upbeat in person, and generally snipe as a source of my sense of humour rather than being genuinely vitriolic the whole time. So makes me wonder anyway.. what did I do wrong? what do I keep repeating that makes them ultimately give up on me after a couple of years? Oh well.. back on topic.. oh yes reflective 100th post!
And that brings us up to now really... just moved into a proper home in a nice part of Milton Keynes, market town called Stony Stratford. It's all familiar as well because this is where I grew up. So catching up with old friends and looking forward to resurrecting something of a life from all this carnage. New house is really nice.. massive, plenty of room. I'm sharing with another guy from work who's not moved in yet owing to some tenancy issues with the place he's moving out of. Im mostly unpacked now.. and I've used up three days of holiday to do that.
Tomorrow im back in the office again, facing a brave new world and hopefully a new "me" for 2006. Maybe somebody will like the new me? Or at least become overwhelmed by sympathy and take pitty on me! Neither of these seem likely.
But if there are any deaf, dumb, blind and insensible to both smell and touch, and also a penchant for masochism and have terribly low self esteem... I might just be your man!
When I frst started this off, it was to keep in touch with colleagues and loved ones whilst executing a project 4700 miles away in the USA's magnificent pacific northwest. Amidst the mountains and the forests we crafted a superb IT solution for gigantic companies, under the careful eye of genius talent of Microsoft, and the slave driving whip of oppression of our own masters back in Europe. Of course at this point life was pretty polar - one being the monastic lifestyle of keeping the project ticking over, working 15 hour days and my poor colleague putting up with my dreadful mood swings between despair and total despair. The other reminding ourselves that we have homes to go back to, loving girlfriends (because that one worked out didnt it?!?! Sorry, enough of the sarcasm).
It was however one of the most enjoyable summers I've had.. the weather in Seattle was absolutely gorgeous, and whilst some form of mad torture much of the time because we could only glare from our tiny flat out into the bright sunny world wishing nobody would care if we bunked off a bit, we did actually get out a few times. Thanks to those few times I've seen some of the most amazing landscape in the world up close and personal. From the terrifying Mount Rainier completely messing up my sense of scale, to the thundering waterfalls at snoqualmie, to the dry and uncomfortable heat in the scrublands of Wanapum and Eastern Washington. Not to mention the place which emotionally moved me more than anywhere else - rialto beach!
I've also had a bloody good laugh.. I've tried to run old people over, I've watched zombies being shot (americans dancing in a jazz club), I've made Martini's to perfection many times over with m'colleague to console our bad days, and he's introduced me to margarrita's that made me pull bobby de niro faces. There were some hilarious - but unfortunate moments. Wanging my head on a kitchen cabinet after being startled by a toaster, m'colleague almost getting done for speeding.. my dreadful october beginning of being trapped in commercial airline hell trying to get to and from Barcelona.
We've met some jolly nice people along the way as well. First and foremost I have to put a mention in on Todd & Kristie. Todd actually works for the same company I do, and is a generally bloody nice bloke (good taste in cars), a gorgeous house on a gorgeous island, with a lovely little community. His charming wife Kristie is a superb hostess, wonderful company and terribly terribly nice... She's taught me how to make Smores properly, and explained some of the basic rules of american football. Oh and kept me company as a drinking buddy when doing decadent cheesecake and cocktails for lunch, or getting utterly slaughtered at the haloween party gathering thingy when all others seem to be reserved. I vaguely recollect pulling down half a tree as a good branch to make yet more smores on!?
Then there's the wider circle of friends I'd begun gathering before I left Seattle. All the Kirkland brigade - to all the girls i just have to say one thing... "daaaaaaahling" ;) And to the guys, terribly sorry about the drunken arm wrestling thing - frightfully un-english of me, and promise it wont happen again! :)
Typical that all kicks off *just* when I'm leaving! But I'm sure I'll be back soon - it's a pitty they keep making me leave! tsk!
But then I did have to come home... and sadly when I did get home, Vicky left me and my life turned into rather a mess. It's only just starting to pick itself back up.. and I hate to go very sombre for a moment but the last few days have been the hardest I've had to experience. Vicky very kindly packed my stuff up for me to limit time spent in the house that used to be 'home'. The problem is that it all needed to be unpacked again.. which meant i had to open things up, and look at them to figure out where their homes were going to be. So I've been forced to relive all the memories of almost 3 years again, and i have to confess that I've finally bawled my eyes out over the whole thing and turned into a bit of a wreck. It wasnt just over Vicky either. There's a lot of stuff there - very personal things that I forgot were stored up. Scrooge at xmas was forced to witness his past, present and future life through a bunch of ghosts. I've been forced to look deep into the past at the total carnage of 8 years of relationships that have collapsed, derailled and ultimately gone wrong. They're not wasted, because hidden amongst those has been genuine true love. In a way it's harder looking back over many relationships than just 1. 8 years with one person and you could say "oh dear, got that person wrong" and move on. But over 8 years, with a number of them.. and you start to wonder "what the hell is wrong with me?". It's a good question.. I know I whinge about everything on here but I'm more upbeat in person, and generally snipe as a source of my sense of humour rather than being genuinely vitriolic the whole time. So makes me wonder anyway.. what did I do wrong? what do I keep repeating that makes them ultimately give up on me after a couple of years? Oh well.. back on topic.. oh yes reflective 100th post!
And that brings us up to now really... just moved into a proper home in a nice part of Milton Keynes, market town called Stony Stratford. It's all familiar as well because this is where I grew up. So catching up with old friends and looking forward to resurrecting something of a life from all this carnage. New house is really nice.. massive, plenty of room. I'm sharing with another guy from work who's not moved in yet owing to some tenancy issues with the place he's moving out of. Im mostly unpacked now.. and I've used up three days of holiday to do that.
Tomorrow im back in the office again, facing a brave new world and hopefully a new "me" for 2006. Maybe somebody will like the new me? Or at least become overwhelmed by sympathy and take pitty on me! Neither of these seem likely.
But if there are any deaf, dumb, blind and insensible to both smell and touch, and also a penchant for masochism and have terribly low self esteem... I might just be your man!
posted by Nix at
4:25 PM
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