Welcome to Zombie Jazz Club.... Grrrreat

We've had to do the sales thing this week. offer our souls to the demo gods and smile a lot in the presence of a techie guy from one of our big customers over on the east coast. He was actually a decent chap so the whole thing was bearable.

Tonight was entertainment night.. where, sans the account manager we headed into downtown to sample (at last) what Seattle apparantly does best.... Jazz! Nice! We managed to get tickets to the 9:30 performance at the city's best jazz club - Dimitrious which was spot on for what I imagined with live jazz session.. except due to the city no-smoking laws it wasnt quite authentic.

Very surreal experience though, we arrived to be ordered into a big line in the car park.. then when the little men came out to tell us we could go in, we shambled like zombies up to the door. Finally when inside, furnished with *terrible* Martini's (why do I bother??) we got to see the band perform. Bloody marvellous. Really good soul/funk/jazz band called "Tower of Power" who've been going for a staggering 38 years. Would love to see them again, might even buy something, if not to hear their soooo cool Baratone sax player again!

Only distraction was americans dancing to Jazz. You all know me.. I dont do the dance thing, I sit in the corner in a ball of scorn and snipe at people.. much more healthy. Anyway, the only way I could describe the yanks moves was "like Zombies being shot". This seemed to go down quite well, and much tittering was involved. Also there was much confusion about a guy out with his girl who danced like erasure (if they were told to camp it up a bit), and looked like simon cowel. All this some how enabled him to snag a stunning and very normal looking girl. It's either wallet, or something else... jury will remain out on that one.

After late night jazz we tried late night drinks. only it wasnt that late. Wandered into a pub down the road (where most of the band later walked into). As I was designated driver I felt a little out of place. The boy moved our american customer, and our belgian boss onto tequila's whilst I sipped on Mineral Water and was acosted by strange americans telling me randomly that they'd seen Thin Lizzie and Freddy mercury live (presumably not together), or that they lived in Southampton for a while... anglophiles. Make your flesh crawl.

M'colleague goes all oirish after a lot of drink I've discovered and gets very happy, smiles a lot. Gives you the feeling that he's up to something. Our belgian colleague fell of his stool a few times.

I'm not driving next time. I cant cope with yanks when sober.. at least not wehn they're drunk!

B B B Back in the US of A

Back in Washington now. Feels different. Good to be back here in some aspects because the place works properly, the people are so nice and friendly, it's very very good weather, sunlight doesnt look as washed out as UK or Europe. But somethings not right. It's all a bit "been there, done that" now, and im at a point where I really really miss Vicky. Being home for a bit was cruel in a way. Just enough time to get all happy and excited and feel wonderful about being home.. just in time to really really miss it even more when it's gone again.

They're on about extending our project until the end of October, rather than finishing on the 16th as planned.. total arse.

The code monkey and I met up with our friends to collect all our lab kit in dodgy car park dealings in Queen Anne. I'm sure we attracted attention.. two guys standing around looking shifty unloading servers from the back of a car and putting them in the back of another one. So now we have the lab back, some problems with the internet service doozers are stopping us from achieving much at the moment though.

Lunch meetings are awaiting me today, in a few hours, then I've got an airport run to do.

A friend of a friend is in town as well, so planning on taking tomorrow night off to do the tourist thing in Seattle, introduce them to the evergreen state properly. He's doing the whole travelling across america, just had his ipod nicked in Victoria.. bloody canadians!

Right back to the slave driving! Where's my cat-o-nine-tails?

Blissed out...

It's been a long day.
Saturday mornings are usually a rarity for me, I'm either sleeping through it or get up to explore somewhere. I was up at 9:30 this morning for neither of those reasons - I simply have too much work to do! My girlie is now away in Cyprus taking a VERY much needed break, and no she's not abandoning me or sending me signals so those of you who just raised an eyebrow you can lower it again! And yes I was asked if I wanted to go along.

Had to go and get cat food for this morning so decided to just do a quick "in-out" at the nearest supermarket, which is now a Morrisons. I've spent FAR too much time in the USA. My supermarket experience was awful. It was packed with dodderers, old people and simpletons who have no spacial awareness or recognition of events around them. It's like something from dawn of the dead, they shamble up and down the aisles wheeling trollies filled with whatever it is vagrants and peasants need from supermarkets (packets of rizla, pork scratchings and the like I'm sure), and all the time their mouths gaping open like fish gasping for air. When they hear the slightly angry "Excuse me" from behind them they look at you as if you have no right to be there. Miserable wretches the lot of them. When I finally got to the check out the obesse acne ridden 17yr old was having a conversation with her friend sitting on the check-out behind her. Apparantly me needing to pay for my goods and leave was of lower priority than hearing what "sondra did to gaz last night". Then she got in a huff when I asked if I could get served. And a meagre handful of items came to £15. Why does it cost so much??!

Excuse me mate? Where can I find the tea bags?

So, reading that you might wonder why the title is "blissed out", sounds quite relaxed doesnt it? Well.. I've taken my porsche for a spin, got all my work out the way, I've just had a lovely relaxing bath with a good book and a bottle of corona extra, I've got SomaFM playing me lovely mellow tunes from the Beat Blender, and now I'm about to cook myself something interesting with pasta involved, open a bottle of wine to myself (and a good one at that.. Penfold's Thomas Hyland 2002 Chardonnay, I usually hate Chardonnay but I know from experience it's good), and I've got a couple of films I've not seen yet. I intend to forget for an evening that I'm in the UK and of the all the horrors that brings.

I think I shall have to seriously consider the plot of land I saw for sale on Bainbridge Island, and consider moving with or without the assistance of my employer. So, I refuse to be stressed right now. Off to kick back and relax.

You are a loose lilly drifing on a sea of calm, relax and float free once in a while.. ahhhhh

The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul

I'm back. Sadly this miserable excuse for a country has failled to get itself washed away, submerged or burnt down whilst I've been away. Bugger.

You'll need to read the Douglas Adams book if you want to understand the title properly, but that pretty much sums up my mood right now.

I'm very happy to be home, and it's great seeing my girlie again.. really great. Although I think I've broken her.. im sure there's some sort of warranty involved somewhere though.

Everything is so unbelievably wet cold and dampin this country at the moment. It's all wet through.. I had to take the rubbish out earlier (US = trash out) within 30 seconds of being outside I was sodden. And it's the wrong kind of damp as well. In most other countries around the world if it rains you wear sensible waterproofs or use an umbrella. No use here, its that rain that you walk through and it soaks you anyway. It's all clingy and horrid. Bleurgh.

And another thing.. when I went away fuel here cost about 87.9p per litre. Can someone explain why a litre of Shell Optimax now costs 99.9p??? To bring some perspective into this thats almost $8 per gallon. Not $3.012 which it was the last time I filled the Mustang up.

So.. small rock. Dreadful weather. High taxes, roads that dont work. (Dont get me started on the M6 roadworks, 3 miles of cones for 2 people and a crane. THREE MILES!?) I pay a tax for the privilige of driving a car, I pay a toll fee for using the road that I have to drive down, and I then have to pay 60% tax on the fuel I put in the car. Hardly seems fair.

I've had enough. I quit.

Bloody Tuesdays again!!

My day deteriorated even further... the project work im focussed on at the moment has proved to be exceptionally difficult. I've been really struggling with some of the materials i have to produce, my ideas have run out and getting clear thinking going has been very difficult. It's been like running through marshmellow.

The doozers cleared off and left the water off without fixing it, so I ventured out to Fred Meyer.. which closed at 11pm. I had an annoying argument with some adolescent at the door who tried very hard to convince me that the store was closed despite the fact that it was 10:55. I was going to carry on arguing when I remembered this is america, and they tend to arm their security guards. The presence of what appeared to be a Glock 17 nestling in a holster gave me reason to leave and head to QFC which is 24 hour. Got to QFC, bought two large containers of water, some crackers and brie then got confused as to why the bill was $45, only to discover the brie here is very expensive. That'll teach me to not look at prices before stuffing them in the basket.

Got back.. slightly happier than when I left. Then realised it's Tuesday, all day I'd thought it was a Wednesday. Now I know why the water was shut off, why it's been so noisy, why my work has been rubbish... Tuesday strikes!!! And as I pointed out.... 12:10am today (Wednesday) the water came back on.

I rest my case.

You'll rue the day you mess with our water supply..... go on, start ruing!

Frequent readers of our complaints here, well mine, will know that the people here dont stop with maintenance.. there's always somebody outside either trimming hedges, wattering lawns, cleaning up, making sure grass is at regulation heights, delousing the trees, whistling down chimneys, nailing things to frisbees and flinging them over rainbows and so on and so forth. These guys are worse than those Doozer things from Fraggle Rock. You remember, the little green dudes who endless built those clear plastic scaffolding structures? It's always something. And they always need to make so much noise... for some reason it takes a petrol driven four stroke engine to power a tiny tiny leaf blower.. or a hedge trimmer, or a strimmer, or a hose pipe.. anything which produces noise.

Earlier this morning the doozers managed to do something unpleasant to the neighbourhood water supply, leaving us living like urchins on the streets of calcutta without showers or anything. Thankfully we've not had to go on campus to day but Jack the beanstalk is beginning to smell a bit.. distinct almond aroma's are wafting from the other side of the table, I think he's beginning to rot. I would opt for the garbage disposal machine but there's now water to wash him away with, and if there was water he could just have a shower and avoid the need for death. Though death would be unpleasant.

We've decided that in the spirit of the deep south we'll endure another few hours without services and then start pillaging our neighbours for bottled water.. good old fashioned social breakdown after only a few hours. Speaking of which im coming to the conclusion that if there is a god, vengeful and powerful as he may possibly be, the city of New Orleans must have done something really dreadful. The place is now on fire... the only bit that didnt flood is burning, it's like Gamhorra all over again, and I didnt think it was that sinful a place... thought Las Vegas would have gone through the whole wrath of god thing before them. I think it'll get a bit obvious if that hurricane forming over bermuda starts heading in that general direction... those guys must have done something utterly awful down there. Hurricane.. floods, riots, pillaging, explosions and now fires in the old bits of the city. it's all a bit biblical down there.. if they werent god fearing christians before hand they should be by now.

Maybe it's a smiting thing, hence the attack on this dreadful neighbourhood by depriving us of water. I suspect it'll be back on eventually, there's a small army of doozers outside now but they're not making any noise so that probably means they're not working. I'm sure they'll have a wrench powered by a V8 or something unncessary.

Maybe I could smite them and see if they work harder. Smiting with a frying pan isnt likely to spread fear and terror among the masses.

My name is Lee, I want a shower, and there'll be some good old testament rending unless I get one.

The Fog... wooooooh!

Well okay it wasnt that spooky. My day started off at 6 this morning with another conference call but the whole place was cloaked in fog.. hung around for half of the day. At about 11am I couldnt take anymore and headed out to my local Starbucks and their delicious grande 2% four shot latte. The fog here is all wrong.. it forms solid walls in patches.. you end up driving out of one patch of fog into bright sunshine... then turn a street corner and vanish into another one... has that sort off echo quality you tend to only get up on moorland as well. Last time I've been in that kind of fog was up on Bodmin moor a long time ago..

Anyway.. was very cool. I've spent the entire day staring at Excel fiddling around with formulae trying to build a cost model.

The furniture is taking its toll, my back is twinging from time to time.. huncbackery will be setting in soon. Or Cratchitting.

The numbers.. they're chasing me, anybody know much about IF statements in excel!??!

Me: Melancholy Choleric

So, friend of mine sent me a link to a personality test site to figure out just how messed up I really am. And.. surprise surprise I'm a depressing schitzo with issues! My personality is described as "Melancholy Choleric" which, in simple terms means i'm an introverted extrovert, spending a lot of time thinking and doing, whilst being optimistically pessimistic about the whole thing.

Overall:
Melancholy:15
Phlegmatic:5
Sanguine:7
Choleric:13

Strengths:
Melancholy:6
Phlegmatic:1
Sanguine:5
Choleric:8

Weakneses:
Melancholy:9
Phlegmatic:4
Sanguine:2
Choleric:5

If you're wondering how messed up you are and want to find out, take the test yourself!

Home

So, we're down to the last week before our break now, and i'm feeling odd. On one hand I've been quite reflective today, on my experiences and how I've been since I arrived and how work has been. It's been a bumpy ride to be honest. Work has dominated my mood throughout all of this, when the work has been going well I've been reasonably cheerful and optimistic, when the project has presented big looming problems I've tended to withrdaw somewhat and think about home, and how easy it would have been to cope with some of the things which have cropped up had I been home with Vicky.

Today, it's raining. We had some rain this morning then it cleared up for a while and we had some bright sunshine, now the rain is back. There's something very relaxing about sitting in silence just hearing the rain on the balcony (we have the door open and only the bug screen across). I think the weather has made a difference to this place.. such constant sunshine and clear skies have given it a kind of surreal shine that's made it all the more enjoyable being here. But now, seeing the morbid skies and heavy rain gives it a new appearance. I actually like it though, the weather here swings about like my moods. I used to spend long periods of time when it rained in winter sitting listening to portishead, reading a good book and listening to the rain as well. Especially if there's a storm.

I've come to realise that the place isnt really much unless you've got the right people with you. I love Seattle and this whole area. Washington is an amazing part of the world, stunning scenery, its properly priced (Americans think its expensive here, Brits and Europeans think its cheap, I think it's just fair), and everything just 'works'. But, would I move here? Would I leave the UK for a life over here... yes, but not without my Vicky. You cant call somewhere home unless you can relax with loved ones whilst you're there, and right now that's what's missing more than anything. So, I'm looking forward to coming home now..

Blog This, Blog That

Nothing but whinging and moaning, thats all I've had from the UK about updating my Blog over the last week... I know you've had nothing since Saturday to read but surely you all have better things to do?!?!

Well, main reason for not updating is, absolutely NOTHING has happened this week. We've been wroking solid on the project preparing for our return to the UK for a couple of weeks. So, its all been work work work im affraid, back to my Cratchett status! We managed to get out for dinner one day when the senior executives were here for a few days which was actually nice.. we managed to find a lovely restaurant and bar right next to the lake at Carallion point in Kirkland. We're intending to head over there tonight for a few more drinks and a break from the project.

"Harrang the Absent" has had all his hair shaved.. so we'll see what the natives make of him when we arrive... but he deserves a drink, he's managed to crack one of the most difficult bits of the whole projeect.

Katrina was awful.. and has been on tv the whole time but it's amazing how quickly the place collapsed into total anarchy. Confusing as this is a massively industrialised country, there's no real excuse for it getting this bad.. I was reading on one of the Seattle Times reports that it's very rare for looting and lawlessness to happen on this scale after a natural disaster. The only time it's happened before was on an island called St Croix, because there was no way off the island, no food at all and no drinkable water, and no sign of how they'd get it. This is the USA, major cities are just a few hours away, there's airports everywhere... no excuse. Most of the photos and footage here have looked like something from a film. Looks like it's all settling down now... Not great progress on Bush's part!