Episode 4: Faster faster faster... oh bugger.

Driving back was eventful.. managed to make some good road movies, which as soon as we figure out how to share them I will!

Highlight was Mutley getting wound up by American drivers occupying the fast lane when not overtaking things. Eventually managed to break past some and over take a few nice and quickly down a hill.....



... and then there were these flashing blue lights (and I got the car pulling off on film). We remembered to stay in the car, after seeing all those american "cops" style programmes were people were pushed to the floor, thrown over cars, molested or just shot by surprised and jumpy police officers. Our "arresting" officer however was slightly nervous looking, very young, and terribly terribly nice to us. After inspecting Mr Willikers licence he returned and told us to simply keep the speed down. He asked a few simple, and seemingly pointless questions around who we worked for, what we were here for and when we were leaving, which I politely answered with lots of detail.. and then he simply said that he's fed up of picking up body parts from people who have hit Elk. You kind of realise why he looks so nervous.. any guy that spends his time collecting pieces of Elk from amidst freeway traffic is going to get a bit jumpy after the second near miss from one of these huge Articulated trucks. Poor chap.

Episode 3: So much water.......

After being bored of both arid wasteland and disturbing farmland we re-traced our route back west, this time stopping at some points for some views and photo opportunities that we'd spied on the way. Lake Wannapum was the biggest body of water we'd crossed and was absolutely massive. One of Washington's biggest lakes it stretches from horizon to horizon and is probably the biggest lake I've seen. I tried to find out from the Internet how deep it is, one site claimed it's 3.5km which is rubbish (the worlds biggest lake is in Asia and is 1.6km deep), most reasonable claim seems to be 400ft so I'll go with that!

Got some great pictures, it's still very dry everywhere around it. There's no colour to anything other than the lake itself, which forms this kind of massive blue scar on skin coloured land. So little moisture even the plants have become very pale green or yellow... and are so sharp and brittle they really hurt if they scratch you!


Managed to get a very good picture of the Mustang which really looks like a shot from a brochure.. something with an awful strapline like "discover new horizons with a ford Mustaaaaang!".

We passed a sign for the columbia gorge which we felt needed investigation. It's a big natural amphitheatre made from the mountains that lead to the lake, and they throw huge concerts and music events there. Pearl Jam are there on Thursday but we cant get tickets unfortunately. We spotted a huge amount of traffic heading there so we figured we'd check it out. Hoping it'd turn into one of those accidental cool things you end up doing because you were in the right place at the right time. James Taylor in concert doesnt count as one of those things, and thats all we were going to get, so we turned back and fled. Unfortunately Mr willikers was at the wheel and took fleeing all too seriously.. as the law later pointed out.. which brings me to my next post.

Episode 2 : Are we nearly there yet?

Leaving Roslyn we carried on East on our route to find the allegedly barren wasteland that is Eastern Washington. Sure enough as soon as we'd cleared the cascade mountain range and its lower slopes, the trees thinned out and finally gave way to empty dry hot desert. It wasn't quite the saharas miles of rolling sands, or the flat dead earth of the middle east, but hot arid scrubland was everywhere. Nestled in vast gulleys and cracks in the ground were huge lakes.. some of the biggest I've seen in my life that stretch from horizon to horizon, loomed up on us as we drove towards Potholes Lakes and Moses City (our intended destinations).

The lake itself was a tremendous let down. It was very very hot, 100 degrees Fahrenheit in fact. The lake itself was vast, but had no scenery. No looming mountains in the distance, no pretty tree covered shorelines. Just a mass of scrubland with a vast body of water sitting in it. Also we'd chosen to pull over at a ghastly unpleasant camping community full of screaming children. It was all incredibly "council". So, we quickly left in favour of a more scenic detour home. Bream-boy had spotted some green bits on the map and navigated us there. Very surreal... the Americans refuse to be beaten by ANYTHING. Communism, the English language, the correct spelling of allumium quality tv that's advert free.. they've conquered them all. Now they can add desert to that as well.

Apparently Washington State is a bit rubbish for fresh food produce. The west is too mountainous and covered in forests to produce anything but fish and wine, the east is supposed to be desert and too dry... Anybody else would give up and import. Instead the local farmers have taken to irrigating on a grand scale. Huge centipede like machines stalk the fields spraying vast cloud creating mists over crops to give them some chance of surviving in the heat. Worryingly it seems to be working! It's very surreal driving through desert surrounded by fields of corn.... round fields at that.. check these satellite pics out. It's caused by the fact that the huge irrigation machines pivot from the centre and move around in a huge circle rather than backwards and forwards across a traditional field. Huge big long roads seem to travel for miles through these strange fields, and driving in a straight line for hours on end eventually gets quite difficult.

It's still pretty hard to imagine that in the time it takes you to drive from London to the Scottish border, you can go from deep mountain valleys, vast forests and soaring snow covered peaks, to arid desert wasteland, one hundred degree heat and cloudless blue blue skies. What a country... so unbelievably huge, and this is just within one state!

Episode 1: Northern Over-Exposure

Saturday comes around pretty quick when you're working this hard, and it's difficult forcing yourself to get time off (my list of deliverables isnt getting any shorter). We decided to force a break, and rather than head out to the Pacific again we opted for heading east to a place recommended to us by a friend at Microsoft. He said as soon as we clear the mountains we get desert. When your from the UK your sense of scale is based entirely on the fact that you live on a small island with much the same terrain all across it. Bumpy, green, occasionally mountainous very often flat and boring. But generally green and covered in trees. Washington State is about 300 miles across from coast to the border, so you'd expect it to be similar terrain, so our friends suggestion sounded a bit odd and we felt we needed to see it to believe it.

We decided to use it as an excuse to drop in on the city where the TV show Northern Exposure was filmed, Roslyn. Neither of us are particular fans of the show, and cant remember much about it, except that there was a Moose in the opening titles and it was supposed to be in Alaska. Nevertheless, a good excuse for a drive.

Some pretty awesome scenery along the way, one particular piece of the I-90 sees the free way split to run either side of a gigantic gorge. That was pretty impressive. If any of you are familiar with Northern Exposure then some of the pictures here might be familiar. Or like us you'll have completely forgotten and politely nod and say "hmm.. yeah vaguely remember that".

Yet again I was harrased by store owners asking me to write on their map of where we've come from in the world to visit their tiny town. I'm sure the addition of "Great Britain and Her Empires" looks good on their US Map.

Dwindling funds, dwindling mental ability, and dwindling attention span

I've moaned about this before so I'll keep this brief. If any of you poor people reading this are ever asked to do anything like this ever, this time say the magic line "not without a corporate credit card I'm not". Our budgets looked pretty good when we set out here. We had a reasonable allowance granted to us by the company, and I initially refused the corporate American Express credit card on the grounds that it's a charge card, and the whole balance needs settling on a monthly basis, no matter what the amount, and my faith in the company expense policy is particularly bad. However.. something needs working out. Myself and my amazingly patient girlfriend share a credit card, and to be honest it's now taking the proverbial. Numerous purchases for seperate USB hard drives, and more kit just to make this project work have left me with large bills and a balance on the card which needs repaying ASAP. To top it all off, I've been royally complained at by the UK management about my corporate cellphone bill, understandably it's huge.. but the threat of doing unpleasant things to me, in terms of communications etc. reached them to tell me to get a US phone.

A word of warning for those of you out there interested in US contracts on mobiles (god knows who you are but what the hell)... they're not cheap. They look it, but they're not. The monthly contract is pretty straight forward and a MUCH better system than UK (you dont pay for calls, just a flat fee which gives you thousands of minutes, if you use those up, THEN you pay). Where they do sting you though is "activation fees"... large unpleasant bills you cant avoid just to get the phone and everything setup. Given there wasn't much difference and I'd still have had to spend the money anyway, I opted for the stylish black Motorola V3 Razr, for the sole reason that I know my other half really likes them, and as soon as I get back from the states she can pop her SIM in it and that'll be her phone.

Project wise we're on track.. it's just the sheer volume of things you dont see which creep up on you. Hopefully September will be a better month for us.

Cheesy Morning Coffee Run

There's a lot to be said for the morning coffee run. My impatience with the dishwasher finally forced me to journey out and get coffees for myself and the Morlock. It's a really really bright and sunny morning today, not much traffic either and was listening to Fantastic Plastic Machine's awesome "theme of luxury" on the way there. Cheesy as it might be it's a great way to start your day, needs to be the opening titles to some cheesy 60's morning TV slot. Probably looked obscure from everybody elses point of view... strange man in black, in a Mustang, bogling to up-tempo lounge music...

Somehow you need to crack the Fast Show's Ed Winchester grin to pull off the image. I think mine ends up looking more like a grimace.

Plus, what's even better is my day was going badly up until now! The barrista at the starbucks I went to has produced a wonderful quad shot latte. Sun is out, good coffee, happy tunes. So, lets see what goes wrong first.

We've decided that at some point there will have to be a CD for the project.. sound track.. DJ Bream and Nixon Cuts presents...... It's bound to be rubbish. But we'll doubtless produce one anyway. You see if we dont.

Bream?!

You probably had to be there...

NFL: National Fumbling League

Last night saw the proverbial notching of another conquest on the bed post that is sport, as we finally got our limey arses down to a football game. Apparantly Monday night football is a big deal, but this was a preseason game and doesnt actually count for anything so we were told not to expect the earth. Upon arrival we were told to go to the peasants entrance and collect our tickets (disgraceful, dont they know we're British?). Despite the fact our seats looked good, the coffee was not.. and the boy blunder's hot dog set him back a whopping $6. Off to a good start as we watched local heroes the Seattle Seahawks line up against girly light green pants wearing Dallas Cowboys. Unfortunately the football was dreadful.. both sides appeared to either have greased hands or alternatively in a hilarious twist to boost excitement the ball may have been heated up to a couple of hundred degrees. Either way, it was a woeful show of talent. I would say that the Cowboys won fair and square but I had no idea what the rules were.. why everyone kept stopping, and what all the various penalties being doled out by the Seahawks hating Referees meant. Confusing game, very very annoying and all that stopping.. I'm sure I'd have enjoyed it more if I knew the rules (Kristy, if you're reading this I need those lessons!!).

The game warmed up towards the end, but the 'hawks still lost 18-10 to the Cowboys. Not because the Cowboys were the better team, but mainly because they were less inept and rubbish as the Seahawks performance. One massive saving grace was the entertainment provided by the Sea Gals providing jiggling and dancing throughout. So when the game got to confusing and boring (all that stopping!!!) you can always phase out and watch them, as we often did.

Annoying as this was my first taste of Football over here, but im assured it's better when the game counts for something and doesnt involve a load of inept rookies missing passes or running into each other. Plus the fact I have no idea whats going on most of the time (so the rookies might actually have been good!). So, I'm prepared to give it another shot and try and get us tickets to watch the Cardinals match on the 25th September, providing im back from the UK then.

I should add as well that Qwest Field is a fantastic stadium, big, and with a great view of the city behind it.

Rialto Beach - The Real Leeland??

Sunday we decided as we've hit a bit of a brick wall with the project we'd take some time out. Chucked maps in the Mustang and headed out to some parts of Washington that we hadn't seen before (well it looked like a short distance on the map). Decided that it would be a nice idea to get to the Pacific Ocean. Heading west across on the ferry to Bremerton, then up through some nice coastal countryside along the Straight of Juan de Fuca to Crescent Lake first. An eerie place that's very very deep.. 624ft deep natural lake made from the "V" of the mountains around it. Apparently a train disappeared into it once and was never found.. other legends abound. Standing looking out over the lake could have placed you one of several places in the world... Scottish lochs, the lake district, eastern European lakes etc. Lake itself was massive.. very very big.

The aim was to get to the pacific to a place called "La Push" for the sunset, clouds were gathering and the sun was setting quick so we thought we were out of time and we'd be either rained on or disappointed. Turning off the highway when we got to our turning we drove passed a particular sign that lead to me pointing frantically and going "oooooh". I've seen many pictures of Rialto Beach in various tourist guides for Washington State, but never knew *exactly* where it was... but there it was, 3 miles away from our turning. Frantic pointing and over-excited gestures on my part lead to us abandoning the route to La Push and heading to Rialto. The sun was gone, the clouds were in, but what an AMAZING sight!!

We arrived at Rialto at about 7pm. Swathed in low cloud and rising fog from rolling waves crashing into the beach from the pacific, it was a perfect backdrop of black and grey. Mist clung around the huge sea stacks shrouding most of their tree lines from view. Looking down the beach we could see the mist rising from the sea into tree line forming the boundary to the beach, and leaving the trees silhouetted against more fog and mist like big black lines of teeth.

Most dramatic scenery I've ever seen.. unfortunately the battery in my camera died on me and I only got two shots off. But I *will* go back before I return, and I really hope the weather hasnt improved there. If ever there was such a thing as a place which could be a spiritual home, in terms of scenery, I cant think of a place which has felt more "me". I had to find a log to sit on for a while and take it all in... oh and creepy things like having all the hairs on my arms stand on end! :)

I think Neil summed it up perfectly actually.... "this is the place where weather is made".

A relaxing evening off... and a dreadful day of suffering.

Well we finally got our friday evening out.. chicken wings at Hooters.. and seriously you really only want to go for the food. Pushy "mutton" isn't a great look for customer service people, and at least I'm not alone in my opinion!

After several bottles of Corona (well, three) we rellocated to Daniels, where I attempted to smoke a dreadful badly stored cigar with a Martini, the Martini was weak and not exactly well constructed. Further alcohol flowed, then a taxi drive back, followed by more alcohol, followed by blissful sleep..... followed by my brain attempting to leave through the sides of my head Saturday morning. Recovered eventually after more naps and in time for an evening at Ruby's Diner, a strange strange place marketed almost entirely towards middle aged single men with a 50's teenage girl fetish. Sub standard overly greasy food is delivered to you by a very young girl who's been forced into a white and pink gingham traditional 50's waitress outfit with white socks and white trainers. You can spot the strange looking men slavering by the "please wait to be seated" sign. Although for them I'm convinced it actually says "please wait to be teased out of your cash you miserable wretch". Food was awful. Bah.

Somethings about this place are considerably lacklustre...

Work! Work Peasants!!

... is the general message coming from the UK at the moment. I now find myself with 36 deliverables requiring completion by September 19th, various white papers and marketing nonsense. Not keen on the fact I have to do them *all*. I'm turning into some kind of Bob Cratchit, chained to my desk with a manky steam powered laptop and only a small cande for illumination. Occaisionally thunderpants brings me coffee, which is nice. My experiment in posioning him with yet more caffeine doesnt seem to be working.. he wont drink anything I give him. Will have to start breaking up vivarin in his food.

In some kind of cruel gesture the sun and the warm weather is back. Just when I have no chance of being out in it. Still, we're taking Friday (tomorrow) off to go cruising in the Mustang through Belltown and sample some of the bars and Seattle's nightlife...... if that kid screams ONE more time I will go and kill it.. with a spoon, a very blunt small spoon....... then we've got a weekend of working, and Monday night at the Preseason football game Seattle Seahawks versus Dallas Cowboys.

Lovely friend Kristy as promised to teach me the rules to the game, which im grateful for as it all looks terribly confusing from the tv matches.. and im resisting calling it Rugby with padding.. im sure it's just as brutal... and to the Americans it's like religion.. so I need enunciating into the church of football. As long as I dont have to buy a cheap wig, a terrible shiny suit, become sweaty and stand on a stage talking about Jeeeeeeee-sus. Nothing wrong with religion, just evangeslists.. there will, no doubt, be a posting on those soap dodging lunatics later on... they get FIVE channels all to themselves!!

Right, back to the desk and the candle before there's wailing and gnashing of teeth.

A very good day indeed

At last an anti-tuesday!! Today has been an extremely good day in my opinion.. had a lovely drive first thing this morning over to Kirkland chatting to my girlie on the phone, that cheered me up a lot because it's good to catch up. The meeting with people in Kirkland went very well, out in the sun having lunch by the water...

Then drove over to Bellevue to get the dreadful Buick traded in for something smaller like the Malibu we first had.. but thanks to some silver-tongued bargaining on my part drove away in a 2005 Ford Mustang GT, in a rather tasteful shade of grey! The people in starbucks remembered who I am, so I dont even need to order coffee properly anymore just turn up and smile and I get my coffees!

Got loads achieved work wise, so, nothing to complain about at all today!

Kiff - Spiritual sponsor of our project

After watching several episodes of Futurama, I've come to the conclusion that poor Kiff is actually an accurate portrayal of how this project is going.. emotionally and physically for me.

Kiff's depressing "ergggh" followed by a slump is the genuine embodiment of how things seem to be going on all fronts.

I demand sympathy!

Malcolm Syndrome..

In "Black Books" Manny was a sufferer of Dave syndrome, a medical condition that forced him to turn him into a neanderthal when the temperature reaches 88 degrees. Bernard was curious to see what happened so left books in ovens, forced him to wear winter clothing etc.

You might be asking yourself "where's he going with this?" well... Crackpot has already exhibited angst and agression at the hand of Bawls, my most favoured caffeine drink so far. So i'm wondering if there's a condition that rather than temperature, is driven by caffeine content. I'll call it Malcolm syndrome. Just because I hate the name malcolm and cant see why anybody would want to name a child it.. unless they really wanted kids and did it out of pure bitterness.

So, I'm now lacing his drinks with caffeine... ordering extra shots in his coffees. We'll see how long it takes to either imobilise him, enrage him, or just turn him into the judderman..

If these measures dont work I'll resort to vivarin a fantastic pill with 200mg of caffeine in one dose.

mwahahahhahaha..

ahem...

Mope

Just been to get coffee from the nearest Starbucks. Managed to get lost on the way back. Too many soppy songs playing on the radio (well.. the cure), so am moping more now, missing Vix (girlie) still... 5 more weeks before I'm home as well.

So right now I feel no enthusiasm and drive to do things today. It's sunday, I've been standing in line at Starbucks being talked at by some american woman who overheard me order and decided to tell me all about her holiday in London because I'm British. I dont live in London... and one thing is *really* bugging me.. why do they always tell me the people there were so nice? Nobody's going to turn around and say "You're from the UK? I went on London on holiday once, terrible people, all very rude". You just wouldnt say it would you? Insulting somebodies home country when they're overseas is a huge social faux pas!

I'm sure I've just got off to a bad start and am more cranky than usual. Neighbours have been out playing with their children.. noisily.. with toys.. and flab. We're aiming to go out tonight to either Freemont, Belltown or just to see a flick.

I'll wander off and find some other target for my scorn...

Strange Day - No sounds in my head..

Sorry, broke out into Goldfrapp lyrics there.. but it has been a strange day. Dropped my boss back at the airport this morning. Actually feel sorry for him at the moment as due to the huge BA mess in the news he's having to fly back home with the dreaded Northwest airlines... operators of 35 yr old leaky planes and rubbish in flight service. One movie. Ten hours.. how would you like it!??!

From the airport went over to Bainbridge to pick up our wine and drop in and see friends on the island. Ferry ride over was alright, furnished myself with a coffee and a terrible hot dog. Had a nice bit of lunch in what passes for a pub over here, right by the quay side in Winslow. After a couple of hours on the island hit the ferry back, managed to get on first time, no delays just drove on.
Grabbed another coffee and stood watching the water go passed. Really missing some of the things from home. I dont miss the UK itself at all.. small horrible country that just doesnt work and costs loads to live in. But I really really miss my girlie :(

The lake and the bay were *perfect* sailing weather today. Saw some lovely yachts tearing up the sound under full sail. I'd definitely can the car and have a yacht here...

Oh well. I think the best description for my mood today is melancholy. Despite the amazing weather, spectacular scenery, I think im getting used to it here... just cant get use to my girlfriend not being around really!

The Beast of Redmond Hill

One of the monsters may have escaped from the apartment.. we've heard some very disturbing noises from the foliage outside tonight.. I'm sure we're being stalked by something.

Could this be waiting for us in the garden? No.. probably not. Its probably squirrels.

The comedy adventures of Crabtree and Evil-Eye

One of my friends has started referring to us as "Crabtree & Evil-Eye".. seeming to think from the blogs its an accurate description of us. Myself being Evil-Eye on the grounds that since leaving the UK I've become evil. Well... evil-er. Citing such evidence as attempting to kill pensioners crossing roads etc.

I'm actually getting significantly worse, driving out of the place where we live today I swerved to hit some pedestrians and missed, and then declared they were "terribly vile people". I'm sure they're alright, I think I've lost the ability to at least be civil to complete strangers.

I think I scared our belgian colleague and friend from the UK when we were in cheesecake factory as well.. after being asked how everything was, I scowled at the dinner table and said "yes". This caused much tittering in Crabtree as he seems to find my decline in patience and tolerance for the natives to be very funny.

My upance seems to have come though. Since the arrival of our overseers from back home the weather here has turned to sludge, along with our motivation, hapiness and my general enthusiasm. As predicted not much of the work we've done here seems to have impressed (though everyone else is VERY happy with our progress).

Also we've had to change the hire car because of Avis policy. Given up our mediocre Chevy Malibu and now have a truly truly truly DIRE Buick LeSabre. Car seems to have been sponsored by rowntree.. Jelly suspension, Jelly brakes.... its ghastly. It should come with a free pack of sea sickness medication to compensate for the wallowing and sloping about it does. Pathetic car.. it's got a massive 3.8 litre V8, yet they've only managed to squeaze 195bhp out of it. Feeble!! This is apparantly a "premium", two grades higher than the Malibu because its got digital radio. Great. 250 channels of country and western, bible bashing and gregorian chant. I've found 5 decent stations so far.

If the weather clears up after our visitors leave im going to phone the catholic church and inform them I've found the anti-christ...

Toasters!!! Run for your looiivvves!!

I'm sure my hapless colleague will post something more amusing about this... was probably funnier from his perspective but I was attacked by a toaster yesterday.

There I am happily toasting (well.. burning) some apple and cinnamon pop tarts (they're awful).. our toaster in the apartment is like everything else here.. it works in theory but unless constantly supervised gets it completely wrong. So.. there I am standing looking down at the toaster, trying to identify signs of scorching.. when it pops. I leap up in surprise, braining myself on the kitchen cabinets suspended above it.

It hurt.

A lot.

Busy busy busy

Well, the blogs are quiet due to huge amounts of work. Had a very productive morning in Kirkland, quick meeting and then a relaxing lunch by the lake. Really could get used to this!

Was over on bainbridge island yesterday dropping off a bottle of wine for friends over there. Had a lovely ferry ride over.. uneventful but very relaxing. Had a really nice salmon dish last night that trogdor put together.. and I've done pasta tonight in four cheese sauce. Not as good as home, wont be cheating any longer with the sauces, going to have to resort to making my own. Tomorrow night im doing Scallops in a parsley butter sauce which should be lovely.. fingers crossed I dont mess that up.

I was going to review a couple more energy drinks I've managed to find... but I really cant be bothered. Nothing has got anywhere near Bawls yet in terms of a caffeine kick and a good flavour. Managed to spill one.. "Cowboy Energy" which contains possible THE largest amount of Taurine in I've ever seen. 3,000 mg's in a can! Also advises you not to drink the whole can in one sitting! Was thinking it would be good. Dreadful. If anyones familiar with Red Devil.. imagine that crossed with the smell of bleach.

After a stonkingly productive day I've resorted to mellowing out with beer, battlestar galactica (yes we're already 3 episodes into the second series!). Just quelling a terrible urge to spoil it for the rest of you. :)

Rip Van Nix

So, decided that I would happily get a bit more of a lie in because its the weekend. Woke up at 8am... baah.. so back to sleep.. 11am, now we're getting reasonable but eyes were a bit tired so rest them for a few minutes.... 1:01pm.. now *that's* what I call a lay in!

Hence I've missed my window with contacting the folks back in the UK... although it is Sunday so I'll so who I can rudely wake up!

Caffeine, Guarana, Ginseng & Headaches

My quest for the ultimate caffeine high continues.. yet to surpass the might Bawls at this point, have sampled two more:

Socko
Cant find a good link for you all on where to buy this from but then I cant be arsed to look around much if I'm honest. My saturday has started very slowly and I have a headache. So I dont see any reason why I should make your miserable lives easier.
Anyway, on with the review... not bad, similar to Whoopass... imagine a sweetened verison of Red Bull mixed with a tropical fruit punch.. kind of same taste you get from Socko. Kinda like fruity cough medicine! Would probably buy again, but only if I was desperate. Didnt do much in terms of caffeine high either. Made me hiccup a lot, could taste it for hours.

Monster ICE Low-Carb
Swill... almost had me crippled to the floor with disgust. Tastes like various medicinces mixed together with perfumed water and filtered through a tramps beard, then his harmonica, and mixed in a cup with some flowers. Bilge, utter utter bilge. I also think its what has given me a headache. Only had two mouthfuls of the stuff before I poured it down the sink. Bleeeurgh.

Friday is the new Tuesday

Well, the day was turning out just fine. In fact the only saving grace has been the absolutely splendid wine we've had.

Actually the morning wasnt too bad - part of my work here is getting all of our launch and marketing materials done, and we use a third party company that interpret my insane ramblings into pretty PR speak and carefully written articles that don't alienate large portions of society. So to get all this stuff done I have to have conference calls at daft-o-clock which I'd normally hate. But the girl working on the stuff over in Leicester has a voice and personality that could melt entire icebergs. Silky honey tones with a lovely english accent all mingle together to generate a sense of warmth and bring on a smile you cant hide. The sort of voice you can imagine would stop a planet turning if she asked nicely enough! No idea what she looks like, but she's just got that voice... Also she has a tremendous enthusiasm for her work which serves to motivate me a little more so she can do a good job as well. Suddenly 6am conference calls dont seem so bad!

So, why do I still say it's bad? firstly I've managed to wash my wallet... destroying everything paper in it, and about $40 in notes. Thankfully the plastic seems to be okay.. My jeans are covered in interesting fluffy dead receipts though...

Our monster that lives in the garbage disposal machine is on strike, and theres the sudden realisation that our boss arrives next week... and we have even more work to do.

Bleeurgh.

It's all gone quiet said Rhubarb...

Well the weather is absolutely fantastic still. Spent yesterday out with the belgians, was quite pleasant.. usual toursity things, over to bainbridge, up the needle, back... get lost in Seattle.. drive up and down the I5 a couple of times, come off at the wrong place on the I99, end up at the docks, drive back, finally find the 520, miss the turning for it, end up in university district, turn around again... FINALLY get back.

Only to sit in the hotel bar where they were staying to be talked at about Content Management Server at 1:00am by a bloke from Norway living in Oaklahoma. Very surreal evening... "vich wershon are you runnings?".

Very lethargic today after giving one of them a lift to the airport at 5:45am, then dashing back in time for a conference call... which nobody turned up for.

Still, more energy drinks have been found.. decent strength onions have been located, and I managed to put together a rather spiffing pasta bolognese made with buffalo mince! Lurrvely.

Unless they kill me I'll post reviews of the energy drinks tomorrow. Oh.. and I've taken to drugging the other one by ordering his americano's with an extra shot.... mwahahahaha. Eventually I'll deprive him of sleep, and he'll have no option but to carry on working on things... who said my people skills were rubbish!

An uneventful day

Nothing happened today.

I tried to run over a cyclist but missed.

Must.... resist...

No, cant. I'm too cruel a person to let this one go.

Last weekend my beloved other half (some claim better half but I dunno.. bit on the short side), disappeared up Snowdon in Wales at the same time we were walking up Mt Freemont (my mistake earlier... part of the Burroughs mountains).

Firstly, a gripe with tourist boards. Scouring the net briefly for pictures of snowdon to go on here I've realised they're nothing like the ones I've received from home. The welsh tourist board seem to think that snowdon looks like this in summer.

Whereas it actually looked like this.

And they cant use the time of year as an excuse.. it's the middle of summer. Peasants. Just goes to prove my theories about that ball of drizzle and fog we still call home.

oh, and to go out on a final, ruthlessly cold note, a little comparison for you all. Snowdon, versus Rainier. Oh and Rainier is bigger as well. nurr nurr

Gah... Noise!!!!!! Where's my coffee?!

Erggh.. Noise!!

Okay so mutley is going to start complaining as soon as he reads this and say something about rather living with a vogon or such like! It's always something here... either its next door but one hacking his guts up outside from smoking things (swear I'll find a lung out there one day). Or it's crazy hispanic neighbours throwing huge parties at the weekend. This morning it's gutter cleaning people. Despite having *all* the windows and doors closed, the noise of the generator is very loud! So, I'm extremely grumpy this morning.

We have a bat. Little tiny one up in the corner near the front door. I've decided to call him Cyril. I would say the only excitement and entertainment is that.. and provide the world with another scorn filled post, but I had a reasonably pleasant evening in Daniels Broiler in Bellevue with a cigar and a mojito. I still dont think it makes up for the noise and the misery of a...... oh god.... it's a tuesday. Right I'm hiding under my bed and not coming out until it's Wednesday.